Twilight has come and the night is long The birds are asleep and so is their song I wander, pause and look at the sky Reflecting on my actions and wondering why Why did I do it, why did I lie For I should have said I love you instead of goodbye. Sean
Lost 2.0
I wander alone
My heart aches for you presence
But still you’re not there.
Without a compass
I’m lost in this wilderness
Alone without you.
Burdened with guilt
I blame no one but myself
As I watched you leave.
Travelling alone
Through the bleakness of the void
A deserving fate.
Sean
Betrayed.
You were my friend; I really thought so,
But the veil has been lifted so now I know.
That you turned out to be a back stabbing arse,
And that our friendship was nothing more than a farce.
You betrayed my confidence, filled me with lies,
Keeping a straight face when I looked in you eyes.
But you’re out of my life and I hope it’s for good,
I’ll erect some barriers so you can never intrude.
The wounds you made will one day heal,
But nothing will diminish the pain I feel.
So be gone from my life and never come back
For I won’t show no mercy when I attack.
Chosen
Hold me tight, kiss me and wrap me in your arms,
Devastate my emotions with your overwhelming charms.
Shower me with gifts and smother me in praise,
Dazzle me with your wit and leave me in a daze.
For I long to be in love and you're the one I'd choose,
My heart would be broken if you I'd ever lose.
So please say yes when I ask you for a date,
We're destined to be together, I guess you'd call it fate.
Sean
Exorcism of the Heart
I need you to leave, to leave my heart,
And from my dreams you must part.
For your not here, you are gone,
I desperately need my heart to move on.
But my heart is trapped, it is entombed,
Engulfed in sorrow, Im being consumed.
Cowardly my feelings I did not show,
So my love for you, youll never know.
I really wish that I could turn back time,
But the changes Id make would be a crime.
For youve moved on and Ive stood still,
The happiness youve found I could not kill.
Leave my heart, please be gone,
So that maybe tomorrow I can move on.
Sean
Martyr
We stand-alone and illuminate the night,
For they have the power and they have the might.
But we have belief and we will persist,
And despite their intimidation we will resist.
Holding a flame in a world so dark,
Slowly and surely we make our mark.
Eventually some day youll all be free,
Ill be long gone, remember me.
Sean
I Want To Be.
I want to be a monster,
So big and strong and tall,
I want to be a monster,
So I can kill you all.
I want to be a monster,
With a loud and scary shout,
I want to be a monster,
With big feet to stomp about.
I want to be a monster,
So the whole world can see,
I want to be a monster,
To hurt those who have hurt me.
Sean
The Duel
Manoeuvring around waiting for my chance,
Reactions learnt like an intricate dance.
Who will strike first will it be me?
Well manoeuvre some more and then well see,
Your eyes like mine containing the fire,
But wholl drop their guard first as we both tire.
So we manoeuvre some more waiting for a sign,
Then well decide whose bed, yours or mine.
Sean
Assassins End
Futilely my hand tries to plug the gaping hole,
My blood falls like ruby snowflakes
Arrogantly I thought this would be easy,
Why? How? A simple mistake is all it takes.
For hell end it with no mercy, when he catches me up,
Im getting old and this is a young mans game.
I always knew one day this is how it would end,
As Ive killed too many and felt no shame.
Sean
Whispers
Whispers in the dark,
Forever tormenting me,
Biting at my soul.
They dont see the harm,
In the poison lies they speak,
To them its some fun.
But fatally wounding words,
To an outcast like myself,
Contain so much pain.
Sean.
Twilight has come and the night is long The birds are asleep and so is their song I wander, pause and look at the sky Reflecting on my actions and wondering why Why did I do it, why did I lie For I should have said I love you instead of goodbye. Sean
Lost 2.0
I wander alone
My heart aches for you presence
But still you’re not there.
Without a compass
I’m lost in this wilderness
Alone without you.
Burdened with guilt
I blame no one but myself
As I watched you leave.
Travelling alone
Through the bleakness of the void
A deserving fate.
Sean
Betrayed.
You were my friend; I really thought so,
But the veil has been lifted so now I know.
That you turned out to be a back stabbing arse,
And that our friendship was nothing more than a farce.
You betrayed my confidence, filled me with lies,
Keeping a straight face when I looked in you eyes.
But you’re out of my life and I hope it’s for good,
I’ll erect some barriers so you can never intrude.
The wounds you made will one day heal,
But nothing will diminish the pain I feel.
So be gone from my life and never come back
For I won’t show no mercy when I attack.
Chosen
Hold me tight, kiss me and wrap me in your arms,
Devastate my emotions with your overwhelming charms.
Shower me with gifts and smother me in praise,
Dazzle me with your wit and leave me in a daze.
For I long to be in love and you're the one I'd choose,
My heart would be broken if you I'd ever lose.
So please say yes when I ask you for a date,
We're destined to be together, I guess you'd call it fate.
Sean
Broken
My daemons feast on my insecurities like a ravenous beast
They devour my hopes, my self-esteem and my confidence in their frenzied feast.
They snap at my heels and try and drag me to the ground
I end up nervous to the point that I'll jump at the slightest sound.
For I have been isolated from society most of my life
A self imposed exile brought about by my internal strife.
As I would describe my life as depression intermingled with loneliness
Occasionally interrupted by periods of distraction and illusionary happiness.
And I wonder what it would be like if I disappeared tomorrow
Would there be anyone who would be filled with
Love
When I close my eyes it's you I see
When I see a smile it's you I see.
The one I cherish, the one I love
From the depths below to the skies above.
It's you I'll see always.
I dream of you both day and night
My heart screams for you with all its might.
It's not food or drink but love I require
To satisfy my craving it's your passion I desire.
It's you I'll want always.
When I'm with you I am content
For an angel from heaven the gods have sent.
As your beauty radiates from deep within
That glint in your eye, your smile filled with sin.
It's you I'll desire always.
For I'm in love there is no doubt
I'll stand from the ro
Gun
You thought it be a thrill when you picked up the gun
You thought it would be amusing and a whole lot of fun.
You saw yourself as clever, strong and cool
But you didn't realise you just looked like a fool.
And we all know it was an accident when that shot rang out
The journeys end of that ricochet caused us to scream and shout.
For one of us lay there all silent and still
So now we must face up to and pay this foolish pranks bill.
And as we are led away with heads bowed and handcuffed
Each of us knows all our regrets and sorrows will never be enough!
Sean
Single!!!!!!
For all the girls that I've ever liked
Have always told me that I'm not their type!
Is it because I'm to poor or maybe to fat
They always have some reason similar to that.
For others they want me just as a friend
For a shoulder to cry on when they're current romance comes to an end.
I try and act so cool and sympathetic, but it's only a farce
Especially when they chase after some Neanderthal arse.
I can't figure out how they are better than me
And what it is in them that the girls do see?
Maybe it's their crude imperfections that's the reason why
For when it's all over they can blame the guy!
Sean
Hjatland
For there is no trees on this landscape so bleak
Mother Nature is so powerful it can make any man feel meek.
The fierce wind drives the horizontal rain so it smashes into your face
During which even the hardiest of people will seek shelter and feel no disgrace.
And though we people have lived here for many a year
Getting close to taming this place we are no where near.
For this is a land that is rugged and wild
Where nature can throw a fierce tantrum, like a spoilt hyperactive child.
And this is the place that I call home in my heart
A place from which I'll never be emotionally apart.
Though our world contains many beautif
The Duel
Manoeuvring around waiting for my chance,
Reactions learnt like an intricate dance.
Who will strike first will it be me?
Well manoeuvre some more and then well see,
Your eyes like mine containing the fire,
But wholl drop their guard first as we both tire.
So we manoeuvre some more waiting for a sign,
Then well decide whose bed, yours or mine.
Sean
Current Residence: Shetland Favourite genre of music: jazz, metal and female singer songwriters Skin of choice: the one I was born with Favourite cartoon character: dangermouse Personal Quote: why me
This is the second calender my good work buddy has done for charity, unfortunatly I'm not in it, though I have nagged him about taking my photo.
http://www.facebook.com/#!/photo.php?fbid=326502620791313&set=a.294206050687637.65327.271819039593005&type=1&theater
Well people what been going on in my like since my last journal.
Firstly I've just posted another poem
http://draxx66.deviantart.com/art/Exorcism-of-the-Heart-134318780
so hope you all like it.
On Monday this week I had my nose cauterised, mainly because I always been plagued by nosebleeds, so I decided to do something about it. the procedure itself was simple, the doctor stuck some little rod things up my poor nose and burned away some blood vessels that were too close to the surface. No pain but after it my nose reacted and ran (like I had a cold) for bloody hours.
Well my birthday has come and gone, got some books of amazon and a nice
Well my first journal in a year, yes I know totally pathetic. But it was down to a very boring year and having the blue screen of death on the computer.
My life at the moment is really still quite boring, not written very much, don't know why just an overall lack of inspiration, though I have just posted two new short poems.
http://draxx66.deviantart.com/art/Martyr-117363627
http://draxx66.deviantart.com/art/I-Want-To-Be-117362849
About the most exciting thing is that I've joined a role-playing/wargames club (it's the inner child in me) met some new people and generally having a laugh with them as we attempt to not mess up the over all ga
Yea I know, the problem is there is no spell checker here, my home computer doesn't have a word processor and since the lastest updates DA doesn't fit on the screan at work. So I'm limited with what I can do here.