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Literature by MochaCocaFan


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Submitted on
April 22, 2005
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Self Abuse

I am depressed; Iím in a rut,
So to feel alive I make a cut.
It feels so good, so I make one more,
Then two becomes three and three becomes four.
This is so wrong but it feels so good,
Iíll have to stop, I know I should.

With the buzz from each cut, I some how escape,
How did I get in to this pitiful shape?
For there is no one with whom my troubles I can share,
Every one only pretends to care.
And this is the only release I can find,
To escape reality, relax and unwind

Itís a sad reflection of the state of my life,
That to escape my troubles, I resort to a knife.
You see I hide my depression behind the smile of a clown,
Like the joker in the pack I never frown.
And from this terrible state someday Iíll be free,
But I will forever carry these scars for all to see.

Sean
Ok another disturbing deviation, not quite been to this place but I can understand how and why people end up there.

We all need some one to confide in and help us escape the torment and anxiety that the world presents us with but hurting ones self isnít the answer nor is doing dangerous or semi dangerous things to feel alive.

The answers, well I have none but will try if anyone need some, after all that all we can promise. So enjoy my fellow deviants.
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:iconoconpo0:
oconpo0 Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2012
All in all, I loved the poem... Sorry about babbling
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:iconoconpo0:
oconpo0 Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2012
It's not the 'feeling alive' like an adrenaline rush, but more so to feel the pain...

Imagine standing in the freezer for 10hours... you feel bitter, numb, shaking... Now imagine feeling like this all day, every day, for weeks, months, years!!! This is what It felt like to be in depression!

It sucks and yes cutting is wrong... But it makes us forget about the real world, the real pain... Live in the moment even just for a second...

I've tried to commit twice... But I've stopped... We know it's wrong and I hope you recover like I have...
I still have scares and am still in pain occasionally... But I haven't cut in almost a year!!!
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:iconsatanschoice:
satanschoice Featured By Owner May 30, 2007   Writer
it's how i feel right now and noone can help me
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:icondraxx66:
draxx66 Featured By Owner May 31, 2007
Well been very close to that myself, usually there is always some one there, the trick is finding who it is as normally it's not who you would expect.

and thaks for the Fav.
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:iconsatanschoice:
satanschoice Featured By Owner May 31, 2007   Writer
last night i came close to ending my life. it's coming and not even my gf will save me. i have so many scars but i really liked it
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:icondaisukeanime:
daisukeANIME Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2006   Traditional Artist
omg wow this is really deep. i dont cut or anything and i'm not even depressed but i know ppl who are and it makes me sad that they think i dont care or anyone for that matter. that's really good.
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:icondraxx66:
draxx66 Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2006
Thank you for both the fav. and the comments.

I can relate to your friends as I circled around those dark place myself, and I hope your friends get through it in one peice.
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:icondaisukeanime:
daisukeANIME Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2006   Traditional Artist
welcome! and thanks a bunch! :hug: :hug:
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:icondiamond281:
diamond281 Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2005  Hobbyist Photographer
I can half relate to this poem.

Really good by the way =) :+fav:
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:icondraxx66:
draxx66 Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2005
thank you.
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